who lives, who dies, who tells your story
by Nikolai Argyris
Summary: "Yuuri!" And he wills himself to move, to answer, to look at his husband. But faith is never kind. Black spots cover his vision, his ears ringing and he hears muted screams- as though they were from a distance. His eyes slowly close and the last thing he think of is, "I'm sorry, Vitya." It felt like drowning. Time Travel.
1. Qui vivra verra

_**"Qui vivra verra"**_

 _A widely used and understood proverb that means, "He who lives, shall see."_

* * *

They're practicing the couple's routine for Stammi Vicino.

He should've known.

It's been a couple of years since they last skated. Being retired, their bodies were no longer used to the strain of competing and performing programs that they once did without breaking a sweat. It was foolish, to practice a complicated routine without someone else to supervise them. It was rash and hasty and he should've known better.

He should've known.

He prepares for a lift and his husband raises his arms. It was something that they should've been able to execute flawlessly and yet- their legs collide and he finds himself falling towards the ice. And the warmth and love he sees in his husband's eyes turn to horror and dread in a millisecond but he doesn't have enough time to dwell on it as he crashes to the ice. The action too fast, too unexpected for him to catch himself. He lands harshly on the ice, the sound heard loud and clear in the empty rink. His body screams in pain, as his voice cannot.

 _ **"Yuuri!"**_ He hears his husband scream and he wills himself to move, to answer, to look at him.

But faith is never kind. Black spots cover his vision, his ears ringing and he hears muted screams- as though they were from a distance. He sees a red pool quickly forming around him, _blood,_ his mind supplies him. And suddenly, fatigue grips him. He struggles futilely, desperately trying to get a grasp on reality but it is all for naught.

His eyes slowly close and the last thing he think of is,

 _"I'm sorry, Vitya."_

It felt like drowning.

His eyes slid shut, dead to the world, unable to hear his husband's wails.

* * *

 _The full moon shines, breeze blowing the petals of the sakura trees away._

 _It's the night before their wedding and Yuuri should be happy. And he is, happier than he's ever been in his life. To be able to be with Victor-_

 _The notion of spending the rest of his days with Victor was.. unbelievable._

 _And therein lies the problem._

 _Living with anxiety.. is like constantly hearing a voice inside your head. It knows all your fears, your insecurities and the voice will continuously taunt you-_

 _and it gets to the point where it's the loudest voice in the room._

 _When every little mistake, mishap, turns unbearable._

 _ **(why did I say that,**_

 _ **why did I do that,**_

 _ **that was stupid- I shouldn't have- stupidstupidstUPID-)**_

 _And he doesn't want to burden Victor with his anxiety. It was tiring- more so if you had to constantly be someone's pillar, someone's sanity-_

 _Yuuri's scared. Frightened. Terrified._

 _What if,_

 _what if he's not good enough?_

 _Victor would surely leave him as soon as he realizes how much of an anxiety ridden- pathetic excuse of a human- he is-_

 _There was a reason he had tried to break things off the night before his free skate, back in Barcelona._

 _Because for all of Victor's years, although he was older than him, Victor was naive. Naive when it comes to seeing the truth._

 _But when he looked at Victor after his program, seeing him, Yuuri hadn't wanted to let go. And it was so selfish of him._

 _"Yuuri?"_

 _His train of thought comes to a stop and he turns around to see Victor standing, panting and flushed, looking as though he had run a marathon._

 _"What are you doing out, it's late, you should be sleeping-"_

 _And Yuuri feels guilty, he hadn't meant to make Victor worried, "I.. needed to get some air."_

 _Victor walks to him and sits beside him. Silent comfort, Yuuri wonders just how well Victor knows him now._

 _"I'm sorry, I just.." And his words fail him and he lets himself trail off. He looks back at Victor and knows, that he understands._

 _And Yuuri wonders just what did he do to deserve someone like Victor._

 _Comfortable silence envelops them and slowly, rays of light start to break through the sky when Victor reaches for both of his hands and grasps them as though he would disappear should he let go,_

 _"And you know,_

 _this could be beautiful."_

 _He says and presses his thumb over Yuuri's ring._

 _Their matching rings glint as the sunrise makes itself known._

* * *

Yuuri falls out from his jump. He lands on the ice _(again)._ "What..." He hears himself say with a voice too young to belong to him.

He sees his best friend- Phichit, looking considerably younger than the last time he saw him. If his memory serves him right, he saw him last January and they spent the day discussing and reminiscing about their time in Detroit together.

"Yuuri! Are you alright?" Phichit says quickly, voice tinged with worry.

Yuuri glances around, panic gradually forming and clasping his mind, _what was he doing back in Detroit, why was he here, where is Victor-_

He pales considerably and his eyes are blown,

"Phichit," And his friend gives him his complete attention. "What date is it?" A sliver of hesitance coats his question, desperately trying to keep his panic down, to hide it away.

Phichit's eyes widens and his hands come up to grab his shoulders, "Yuuri, are you sure you're alright? It's November, Yuuri. Are your nerves getting to you? I know the GPF is on December but-" Yuuri tunes him out.

 _November._

 _GPF._

 _December._

Yuuri's eyes widen for a fraction, "What- GPF? Phichit, what are you talking about?" He feels his panic increase.

"The Grand Prix Final, Yuuri, you qualified remember? Are you fine? I'm going to call Celestino-" Phichit takes out his phone and Yuuri grabs his hand, "No." Phichit is visibly surprised and Yuuri clears his throat, "-I mean, no, I'm alright. Really." He sees his friend frown and nod reluctantly.

Yuuri lets go of his hand and notices that his hand started shaking. His eyes close for a moment, ignoring his friend's calls.

 _A hallucination? Was this the afterlife? Whatwashappening-_

He gazes down on his hands, too small, unblemished, youthful, _**wrong.**_

And he desperately chokes back a sob because he wasn't _wearing his ring._ _The one **his husband gave to him-**_

Yuuri takes a deep breath and skates towards his bag, he needs to be alone, he needs to go back, he needs Victor- "Yuuri?"

He needs to get out, to be alone, he needs to _think._

He glances back at Phichit and it takes everything he has to keep his voice from breaking, "I'm going to take a break. I'm alright Phichit, don't worry." And he trudges back to his room.

* * *

His current coach gave him the day off tomorrow. He knows Phichit informed Celestino of his earlier breakdown. And he's here, _(alone)_ in his bed, staring at the ceiling.

If this wasn't a dream, then he went back in time. But how? Why?

Yuuri lets a laugh slip out because of course, it just had to be before he met Victor, before he got married. He was in this alone.

He never thought that he would have to do it all again. _Then again, who expects to travel back to the past?_ He thinks wryly to himself. He turns to his side _(missing the warmth that he would usually find beside him)_ and sighs. Yuuri stretches out his right arm, missing the glint of gold on his finger. _You don't spend 2 decades with someone and not miss them when they're torn away from you._

And the full force of the situation suddenly hits him, he left Victor. He left him behind, he died. Yuuri vainly tries to choke back a sob. Just thinking about his husband had sobs wreck his form. Victor had to deal with his death on the ice. A central part of their relationship. The ice, where they started their careers, where they performed, one of the reasons why they met. And he feels terrible. Because he never wants to see Victor in pain. He doesn't want to taint the ice- a place where they both felt safe, with the memory of his death.

 _You have invented a new kind of stupid. A 'damage you can never undo' kind of stupid._

Unless he changes the past. He can't act like his past self, it would be draining. This was a second chance. Victor once told him that before he met him, he was living without a purpose. Empty and hollow. The least he could do is alleviate the loneliness Victor experienced and not let him suffer any longer.

 _Tomorrow,_

 _I will start tomorrow._

 _But tonight, just for tonight,_

 _just give me one night to mourn._

He spends the night mourning the future. A future, that he knew, can never be.

* * *

 _"I would give anything to be like that."_

 _It's after Onsen on Ice and night has fallen. The adrenaline, the thrill, of winning had long since disappeared, overtaken by anxiety. And Yuuri hates it. When will he be free from anxiety, to not constantly question himself._

 _Victor glances back to him, "To be like what?"_

 _"To be confident- to be free from anxiety." From fear, from loneliness._

 _Yuuri realizes what he said a second later and immediately regrets it._

 _He'd never been this open to someone before, to let himself be seen this vulnerable. But Victor probably doesn't understand. And he doesn't fault him for that._

 _"Believe it or not, I knew about fear," And Yuuri's head turns to Victor, clearly shocked._

 _"I knew the way loneliness had stung."_

 _Yuuri opens his mouth to say something,_

 _"Yuuri!"_

 _And his sister calls him._

 _"I- please excuse me."_

 _Victor stares at him as he walks away. He's out of earshot a few seconds later and Victor tilts his head back._

 _"I knew the way loneliness had stung, until I met you." He says to himself._

* * *

Sunrise greets him, rays of sunlight peeks from the curtains.

Tell tales of tear tracks tarnish his face, swollen and puffy eyes from the night before. He stands before the mirror and Yuuri inspects his body, his body that was at the peak of fitness. If there ever was a time to compete, it would be now. When his stamina was at its best, his body in perfect condition.

It was his choice whether he would stay in this slump or change the past. _No, it's the present now._ A chance to redeem himself.

 _(his failure in Sochi was unforgivable, he failed his family, his friends, his country_

 _he made a fool of his country, of himself_

 _his defeat reflected his coach and his mainland_

 _never again.)_

In a way, this was his reclamation. He wanted to make the people who supported him proud. His coach, who stood by him even through his anxiety. His parents, who encouraged his choices, whatever they may be.

He closes his eyes and opens them, brimming with determination.

He makes his way to the rink.

And he jumps, and jumps, and jumps.

His 22 year old body was certainly not used to it. But he knew that he was more than capable, he'd done more complicated routines before, he'd pushed his limit and succeeded.

Toe loops, salchows, lutz, axels, spins, and flips.

Again and again. He'd landed on the ice on his first few tries but he continued. Ignoring his body's ache for a break, he threw himself to a triple salchow for the 16th try.

A shaky landing. But a landing nonetheless. And he smiles.

An hour passes and he lands a quadruple flip for the fourth time.

He stops, triumphant, adrenaline running in his veins.

He had roughly about a month before he has to compete in Sochi. For someone like his past self, this sort of improvement was definitely unanticipated. But he has years of experience and enough confidence to pull this off. He refused to lower the difficulty of his programs after his first year of being Victor's student. This was his redemption. He can never allow himself to fail and shame his country again.

* * *

"Coach, I've already choreographed my programs."

Celestino stills and finds himself scrutinizing his supposedly shy and timid student. He'd been worried about Yuuri when Phichit called him about his breakdown. He knew that his student suffered from anxiety so he gave him a break. He expected Phichit to drag Yuuri around or stay in his room so he excused him as well. He was proven wrong however when Phichit ran to him, saying that he couldn't find Yuuri. He said that he went to check on him and couldn't find him anywhere. They spent the morning looking for him and he was tempted to call in the police until he received a message from Yuuri.

He called Yuuri in to lecture him about his recklessness and to talk about his programs for Sochi which led him to this situation. At least, that's what he meant to do until he hears his student tell him that he made new programs. New! It was suicide, he was purposely sabotaging himself, he only had a month or so before the GPF. He opens his mouth to tell him no but he stops.

There was something glaringly different with Yuuri. He used to sink into himself and refused to make eye contact with most people. Today was different. An aura of confidence surrounded his student and he carried himself as though nothing could touch him.

It baffled him. What happened to his student? A man who, before now, was usually withdrawn and farouche. But the person before him, stands and walks with refined elegance, self-assured and imperturbable. It was staggering, to suddenly see a person who he thought he knew become someone completely different.

Celestino stays silent. And nods at his student. A silent cue of his approval.

Yuuri sets the music then skates to the middle of the rink and stops.

The first few notes of the song start to play and Yuuri _moves._

And he skates to the song, seemingly in tune with the music and secure in the ice.

Celestino stares, captivated, mesmerized. He'd always known that Yuuri was extremely talented but this.. this was surprising. Unexpected and abrupt.

And Yuuri suddenly throws himself into a triple salchow.

The song continues and he sees his student perform jumps that he never knew that he could do.

A triple lutz. A flying sit spin. A double axel double toe loop. A half loop and a triple flip.

The music comes to a close and Yuuri does a quadruple salchow at the end.

His student glances at him expectantly, waiting for his reaction. And he is completely flabbergasted. He hears Phichit's gasps stop.

This.. amount of improvement in such little time was impossible. Practically unheard of. Not when his student usually flubbed his jumps, it was simply inconceivable. But that was exactly what Yuuri did. He considers the pros and cons for a moment.

Then Celestino's mouth splits into a grin, and says, "If that's your SP, then I wonder how your FS will be like Yuuri."

His student beams at him and says, "There's a million things I haven't done, just you wait."

* * *

Phichit considered himself to be the person to know Yuuri the best. However, what with all the years they've spent together, he'd never seen this side of his best friend. He'd never even known that this side of Yuuri existed.

He was troubled and distressed after Yuuri left the rink. He turned and turned the whole night, worried about him. He knew Yuuri would get panic attacks but the incident at the rink didn't seem like one. He looked utterly confused and bewildered. To the point where he was disoriented enough that he forgot the date.

He reluctantly decided to give Yuuri space when he came back. Choosing to let him have some time alone.

He woke up and glanced to Yuuri's side of the room and was surprised to see that the bed was made. He checked the clock, _Ciao-ciao have us the day off today, where is he?_

Soon after that, he went looking for Yuuri. He stopped by the cafe that they would frequent after training, the library, and finally went to the rink and found that it was closed as Celestino scheduled their training on a later time for him and his rink mates.

Phichit sent Yuuri countless messages, asking him where he was.

 **Phichit:** Yuuri, where are you?

 **Phichit:** Yuuri?!

 **Phichit:** pls reply I'm worried

His messages went unanswered and unread.

He ran to Celestino, frantic until finally, _finally,_ Yuuri sends both of them messages, asking them to meet him at the rink.

When he went to the rink, he never expected this to happen.

He gasped, completely stupefied. He'd just witnessed jumps he'd never seen his friend accomplish without any fault or error.

* * *

 _There are times when Victor stops and realizes, that Yuuri was with him. That he was married to him. It often brings him to tears._

 _Back before he had met Yuuri, before that night, before the banquet, before Sochi, he'd already resigned to a life of loneliness. Twenty-seven years, with more than a decade of dedicating his life to the ice, to skating, relationships had become the last thing in his priorities._

 _It's not until he came home from another competition and was met with silence and the darkness that he realized that he was alone. Oh, he had Makkachin, perhaps Yakov, Chris, and the others. But,_

 _he felt so.. separated, alienated from other people._

 _It had come to a point where most people had put him in a pedestal, where they see the Living Legend instead of him while some were bitter, hated that they lost against him._

 _And suddenly, light comes to his life- after being away for so long, in the form of the man he met at the banquet._

 _But the light disappears as quickly as it appeared._

 _He's left alone once again._

 _Until he sees the video. And Victor drops everything and heads to Japan._

 _He expects the seductive and unabashedly confident man he met back in Sochi. What greets him is someone the opposite. But he was undeterred. He'd finally found.. found something- someone who painted his monochrome world with so much color and he wasn't letting go._

 _When Yuuri tells him that he wants him to be Victor. To be just Victor. Not the Living Legend, he wanted nothing but to cry and sob in his arms. Because finally, finally, someone who saw through the facade, someone who asked him to be just himself._

 _Himself._

 _Not the champion, the Living Legend._

 _But the road wasn't easy. As he was secluded from other people for so long, unable to connect as he had focused on his career, he didn't know what to do. What to say. That's why, sometimes, his actions- although he hadn't intended for it to do so, had pushed Yuuri away from him. He'd made him cry. And at times, he would blame himself for not being able to comfort Yuuri- through his insecurities and fears._

 _He wanted Yuuri to see how beautiful, how perfect he was. But all Yuuri saw was the flaws and imperfections._

 _And it makes Victor want to scream at the world. And he fight(s) the urge to strike a match and set this dump (the world- this cruel cruel world) ablaze. Because how could people do this to Yuuri? Someone as kind and forgiving as him, to be belittled._

 _When Yuuri slides the golden ring on his finger,_

 _Victor knows that he will never let this go._

* * *

 _(why do they hate me, why don't I fight back,_

 _why do I cry myself to sleep?_

 _somebody hug me, somebody fix me, somebody save me-_

 _send me a sign God- give me some hope here-_

 _som **ething to live for)**_

 _Yuuri wakes up and finds himself looking at the concerned eyes of Victor._

 _Victor bites his bottom lip and says, "Do you need something? I can go get some tea-"_

 _Yuuri shakes his head and loops his arm around Victor,_

 _"Stay. Please."_

 _They fall in asleep with their arms and limbs wrapped around each other, unwilling to be separated._

* * *

Yuuri looks up to the sky, cleared up and clear. All signs of the rain the day before, all gone.

He's sitting on the floor, sorting through his clothes, his outfits for his programs and other essentials.

His flight to Sochi is in two days, he's set to arrive several days before the competition. Yesterday, he had geared himself up for the inevitable meeting with Victor. Although it won't be the same as last time, it would happen.

"You'll do fine," His best friend, Phichit, says as he leans on the wall.

"I will," Yuuri tells him.

After his return to the past and his little stunt- changing his programs and showing them to his coach, Phichit had kept a close eye on him. He knows it's because he was confused over his sudden change. To Phichit, he'd changed overnight or rather suddenly so it's understandable.

 _Yuuri's taking down his posters in his side of the room when Phichit arrives._

 _"Yuuri?!"_

 _"What are you doing?!"_

 _Yuuri plucks out the last remaining poster from the wall, "Taking down posters." He says nonchalantly, as though he's not turning his best friend's world upside down._

 _He looks back at Phichit, who stood there, completely flabbergasted._

 _"Wha- why- why are you taking down your posters?"_

 _"I'll still keep them, I'm just taking them down."_

 _Phichit reluctantly nods._

 _Yuuri shrugs, he can't exactly tell the real reason why he's taking them down._

 _He doesn't want to think of the 'real' past, the 'future's past', he doesn't want to be reminded of the fact that Victor won't know him, that Victor wasn't here with him a lot more while he's in the room._

* * *

The skating world won't know what hit them.


	2. L'habit ne fait pas le moine

**_"L'habit ne fait pas le moine"_**

 _Directly translates to "The vestment does not make the monk." The sense of the phrase implies that appearances can sometimes mislead one's better judgement._

* * *

If someone was asked to describe Katsuki Yuuri, they would most likely mention his reserved nature and tendency for sudden bouts of pent up anxiety and panic attacks.

At this point of time, that statement would be rendered completely wrong.

The days passed by and their rink mates would stop and stare whenever Yuuri was around.

A sudden toe loop here, an unplanned triple lutz there, things that just a few weeks ago, something that he wouldn't be caught dead doing while other people watched.

What was once a timorous and reticent man, who would have a hard time skating in front of others, was reborn as someone with an attitude that entirely goes against who he was before.

Oh, he was certainly as nice as before. A lot more social and open to conversations- but he gives off a vibe of aloofness. As though they were mere children compared to him, but not in a conceited way.

It was as though he had seen more, had experienced more, had lived longer than twenty-four years. He walks with a silent but strong confidence- not arrogance.

He used to feel uneasy whenever people were around and it would reflect on his skating. And he'd flub his jumps, overcome with nervousness. But now, they watched as Yuuri performed feats that he wasn't able to do a fortnight ago, he skated with a newfound assertiveness that's clearly displayed in his movement.

Yuuri was known for his intricate and graceful step sequences. An innate skill to _own_ the music, as though _he_ controlled the songs. Throw in his sudden amelioration with jumps and that was what made the current Katsuki Yuuri. Couple all of that with a boldness that Yuuri now has, people can go as far as to say that he can overthrow the king, the living legend, Victor Nikiforov.

But only those in Detroit knew that.

It won't be long until the whole skating world will.

* * *

After years of living with Victor, Yuuri developed a penchant for surprising people. Certainly not as radical as Victor's attitude off ice, no, Yuuri liked to surprise people on ice. After all, the high he felt that time when people didn't expect routines like Eros and Yuri On Ice from him was gratifying.

In the future, or rather, the previous timeline, he was the only one to ever land 6 successful quads in the history of figure skating. Right before his retirement, he left behind a world record that as far as he knows, no one has broken yet. Yuratchka came close, 2 points away from breaking the record.

After years of competing, he'd developed some sort of switch, according to Victor. While he was confident off ice, during competitions, he was more.. affable. On ice and during competitions, he tends to tease- all in good fun, more and gives 'fucking annoying smirks', according to Yuratchka.

Yuuri smirked briefly, thinking of the people's reaction to his 'new' persona and attitude. He submitted his routine to Celestino already, exactly the one that he showed his coach before. Unbeknownst to his coach and to his rink mates however, that wasn't the final version of his programs.

He was in his hotel room, a day before his SP. No one would expect him to completely change his 'original' programs, he was sabotaging himself by doing it, shooting himself on the foot by doing it- at least, that's what the others will think.

After Sochi, he blocked out his memories of his programs, ashamed of his failure. He hardly remembers both of his 'first' programs for Sochi. Instead, he'd use two of the programs after his second GPF. After his Eros and Yuri On Ice routine, he actively aspired to continue breaking world records. He disliked losing, loathed disappointing the people who stood by him.

Yuuri then lets out a curse, remembering that he left his skates with Celestino after checking out the rink. He sighs and stands up to go to his coach's room.

He's outside of his room when Chris suddenly calls out to him.

Chris walks to him, "Yuuri, He looks at Chris, making eye contact, completely at ease. He sees a hint of confusion in Chris' eyes for a moment until it disappears. "Congratulations on making it to the GPF." Chris says, smiling at him.

"Thank you, you as well, Chris." He replies, conviction clear on his words, no stutter, no blush, no hesitation.

Chris' head tilts slightly to the side and he says, "There's something different about you." Yuuri internally grins, ah, so it was visible.

He hums and says, "You think so?" Chris nods in reply and asks, "Would you like to go down and spend some time with me? You never have time for me.. Yuuri, I thought we were friends!" He says in a playful tone and Yuuri thinks about it for a second and says, "Well, I'm usually locked up in my room before competitions that's why."

He immediately spots the surprise that blooms in Chris' eyes and his lips tug up, "I'll get back to you, I just need to get something from Celestino."

He waves his hand as he stalks away from Chris and remarks, "Sayonara." And leaves Chris astounded.

* * *

Yuuri remembers the first time he went here. Or the 'future's past' version of this event.

He'd locked himself in his hotel room, actively avoiding any social interactions- apart from talking to Celestino and calls to Phichit. He remembers the constant symptoms of panic attacks that he would ignore and stomp down. While he wasn't prone to panic attacks anymore- he gets them sometimes, not quite as severe as the ones he would experience during these times however.

He remembers contemplating whilst holding his phone, if he should call his sister. He used to call his sister or his parents, asking them how were they doing, what was happening and he would hear Vicchan's barks whenever he would call.

Vicchan.

Yuuri blinks the incoming onslaught of tears away. It's been years since he last saw Vicchan.

He'd already called his sister and Minako-sensei immediately after coming to the past, asked them to keep an eye on him and watch his food intake. Vicchan's lifespan was considerably shortened because of his obesity and months of letting it be became his death sentence.

And although it feels like he was playing god, he didn't want Vicchan to die. Oh, the years had dulled the pain but it was still there. If this was his second chance, then he better make it worth it.

Yuuri lets out a cough and covers his mouth.

Perhaps he should take it easy after Sochi. As young as he now was compared to before, he isn't immune to sicknesses.

* * *

When Chris saw Yuuri leave his room, he called out, insistent on getting his friend to socialize and not stay in his hotel room- as he would usually do. He congratulates him and Chris expects a blush and a stuttered reply.

He gets the complete opposite.

Yuuri talks with a certitude that he cannot remember him having.

Something was different about him. He mentions this to said man and his curiosity is triggered so he asks Yuuri to hang out with him. He was gearing up for another refusal and once again, he is surprised, he is met with acceptance. Yuuri even makes fun of his previous actions of him not socializing and staying in the hotel.

He hears Yuuri say, "Sayonara." And he watches his friend's back, straight and determined.

While Chris is certainly baffled over this sudden change in Yuuri, it wasn't unwelcome.

He's glad that Yuuri seems to have found confidence in himself. And he finds himself looking forward to talking to him again.

* * *

Yuuri is walking back to his room, he's glad that he got the chance to talk to Chris, the last time-

Yuuri halts and remembers that that future won't happen now.

Back in the original timeline, he met with Chris in New York with Victor. Chris retired a few years before them and got married after them. He remembers seeing Chris' husband, sitting by him in the Kiss and Cry and holding a bouquet of flowers in his second GPF. If his memory serves him right, Chris hasn't met the man at this point of time yet.

He remembers the conversation he had with Chris, with him refusing to drink, claiming that he and alcohol didn't mix.

 _"You strike me as a man who has never been satisfied." Yuuri says and he watches Chris open an eye, staring at his drink._

 _He continues, "You're like me, I'm never satisfied."_

 _He waits for Chris' reply and understandably, he is met with confusion. "What makes you say that?" Chris asks him._

 _Yuuri maintains his composed expression and remarks, "You're.. not satisfied with a silver medal aren't you." He exclaims, a statement, not a question._

 _A moment of silence permeates the air until_ _Chris smiles fondly and asks him, "Since when were you this wise?"_

 _Chris looks directly at him then asks, "Then, what makes you unsatisfied?"_

 _Yuuri tears his gaze away from Chris and looks out in the distance and with a hint of bitterness that only he can detect, says,_

 _"Who knows."_

 _Ah, but he knew. He was always a sore loser, even Yuuko said so. When he exerts so much effort on a program but his anxiety gets in the way, it annoys him. It makes him bitter. He hated his anxiety ( **he hated himself for failing,**_

 _ **for being weak)**_.

* * *

Yuuri watches his Victor-

He shakes his head. _No, he's not mine anymore. He's never met me._

And it pains him. To admit that he had to start all over again. He takes a deep breath and composes himself. _You can't fall apart now._ He sees Celestino give him a concerned look and he ignores it.

He hears the song come to a close and brushes aside the screams of the audience. He drew right after Victor and really, Yuuri should be thankful. He didn't draw first. He may be a lot confident now but his anxiety never went away. As the years passed by, it wasn't as bad as before, he no longer had frequent episodes of panic attacks but the worry and the doubt still lingers. He just got better at hiding it.

They announce Victor's score and unsurprisingly, he broke another world record with a score of 116.8 for his SP. He watches him smile at the reporters while in the Kiss and Cry.

A few minutes pass and it's his turn.

Celestino clasps his shoulder as he hands him his skate guards and says, "You'll do great, Yuuri."

He hears a couple of gasps from both the announcers and audience. His hair is slicked back, with a few stray strands by the side. And of course, his outfit. A bit risqué but not overly so as his theme doesn't call for seduction. He breaks his usual look of outfits with shades of blue, opting for darker colors, aiming for a refined and mysterious persona.

 _"Representing Japan, in his first ever GPF, Yuuri Katsuki-"_

He skates to the middle of the rink, tuning out the voices, the noise.

He lifts his right hand slightly, poised as though he was about to receive something and moves.

He's confident with his step sequence and hears the commentators gush about them. He internally smirks and prepares for a triple axel and then throws in a combination that wasn't in the written program.

 _"Next up would be a Toe Loo- and he's replaced it with an Axel-Half Loop-Double Salchow combination!"_

He jumps for a Triple Lutz and lands it perfectly. His mind then focuses on performing the next 3 quads.

The music continues and he performs 2 more jumps, a Triple Salchow and does another combination, until he hears the music come to a close,

 _"His last jump will be a Tripl- and he replaces it with a Quadruple Loop! A Rittberger! Yuuri Katsuki has just made history as the first man to successfully land a Quadruple Loop!"_

The announces and the audience are shocked and the screams and cheers continue. He takes his last form with his arms wrapped around him and his head to the side. He skates around for a bit and picks up a few of the flowers and plushies.

He then skates towards his coach and sees Celestino positively shaking in excitement, pride visible in his eyes.

He smiles at his coach and this was what he wanted. He wanted to see them beam with pride, all those who supported him. They make their way to the Kiss and Cry and waits for his score.

 _"With a score of 124.3, Yuuri Katsuki takes first place!"_

Celestino hugs him and for once, he is shocked. He knew he improved significantly and there was a chance of him taking first place but.. the difference between their scores was staggering. Yuuri shakes away his shock and smiles as he watches the reporters scramble to ask him for questions.

There were a few simple rules when faced with the media.

Give them what they want and show no weaknesses.

In the original timeline, when he'd been younger, he constantly failed and displayed weaknesses clearly. But as he grew, he soon learned how to properly navigate his way through the media. What to show and how to make himself appear in a particular way.

* * *

He's back in his hotel room once again, after having to run around avoiding the reporters. He'd answered a few of the questions back in the Kiss and Cry but he'd rather not spend his energy and tire himself out. He lets out a series of coughs and frowns, making a mental note to pick up cough drops.

He thinks back to the reporters' questions,

 _"How do you feel about your victory?"_

 _"How were you able to improve in such a short amount of time?"_

 _"To whom do you dedicate this performance to?"_

 _Yuuri smiles and says, "I was quite surprised about it. As for my improvement, I would credit that to my coach. This particular performance was dedicated to all those who have supported me in my career." The reporters scramble for more answers and ask more questions until it all blends together as just senseless noise, unable to distinguish the words from each other as they frantically interrogate him._

 _His coach finally steps in and they leave to get back to the hotel, not without running around to avoid the reporters though._

 _When they're eventually out of sight from others, his coach turns to him and says,_

 _"I'm proud of you, Yuuri."_

 _His eyes slightly widen. He'd always known that Celestino was and he never felt like he deserved that pride. But to hear it from him, after finally proving his worth, it made him feel meritorious._

His phone rings and he grabs it.

 **Chris:** That was a beautiful program, Yuuri!

 **Chris:** You were amazing out there.

He smiles and glances at the messages with fond eyes. This, this was why he hated losing. He wanted to be worthy of their faith in him. Chris was one of the few people who never belittled him and treated him equally.

 **Phichit:** THAT WAS SO AMAZING YUURI

 **Phichit:** I AM SCREAMING AND CRYING

The skating world has been turned upside down. And he was responsible for it.

He snorts and if this was how they will react to his SP that ended with a Quadruple Loop, he's looking forward to their reaction to his FS tomorrow.

He sighs, he wonders how long he could keep up this facade.

It's only been a few months and he still has to constantly stop himself from suddenly saying something about the future. Or talking about something that hasn't happened yet.

He'd had to watch his words, careful that he might slip.

When Phichit and he would talk, there were times where he would catch himself about to mention something that hasn't happened yet. It was tiring.

He's sure that Phichit's noticed. Especially since he had taken to distancing himself at times.

As much as he's thankful for their friendship, he can't help but feel out of place.

It's been years since he'd graduated from college and he finds himself getting lost in the campus every now and then. He'd taken to asking around for directions ever since then.

Although it doesn't show- physically, at least, he's still older than Phichit and most of his rink mates. Compared to him, they're young and inexperienced. And he doesn't feel like he belongs.

Yuuri sighs again, nevertheless, he can't keep on acting like this.

To suddenly find yourself surrounded by people you know- but at the same time, you don't.. it's hard and exhausting. They're younger and different than what they had been in the future.

He makes up his mind and decides to not run away and if he must act- then he will.

He suddenly hears a thundering of footsteps approaching closer. His eyebrows furrow in confusion and opens the door and-

someone slips in and shuts the door close.

And he comes face to face with Victor.

* * *

Phichit frowns, looking back down at his phone.

Ever since that day, where Yuuri had fallen out of a jump and came back the next morning, acting as though he were a different person entirely, Phichit's noticed a few things.

Every now and then, Yuuri would open his mouth, as though he was about to say something and snap it shut soon after. And although Yuuri was a bit more open now, there were times he would be distant.

Not to say that he hadn't done that before, no, Phichit remembers Yuuri closing off at times- usually because his anxiety would get the better of him at a random day. Contrary to popular belief, Yuuri isn't- no, _wasn't_ just affected by his anxiety during and before competitions. At times, he would wake up, sullen and withdrawn. There were times where he would be detached, for no reason. He had bad days and good days, to put it in a simply.

But this sort of standoffish attitude felt different.

Yuuri looked at them as though he.. didn't belong. Like he suddenly found himself surrounded by strangers and unknown places.

And while most people were content with this because of Yuuri's newfound confidence and a more advanced skill set in skating that he'd never shown before, he wasn't.

They'd known each other for years, had gone through several years of college and training and Phichit didn't know what was happening with Yuuri.

And Phichit wants to help him.

When he had left and gone to Detroit, while his English was passable- it wasn't quite fluent. Others hadn't even bothered to try to get through him simply because his grasp of the language wasn't on par with theirs. But Yuuri. Yuuri, the only other person who was also new and although he was better- his English being close to fluent, had been there for him.

When he'd first met Yuuri, he'd thought that he was untouchable.

Yuuri seemed so reserved and disconnected from the world.

Until Phichit found that it wasn't exactly like that. He'd decided that he would become his friend, no matter what.

And he did exactly that.

So, it's understandable that he was worried for Yuuri.

He sometimes sees Yuuri gazing out into the unknown, with a far-away expression on his face.

Almost as though he was longing- no, grieving for something.

What it is, Phichit doesn't know.

He sees when Yuuri stops himself from saying something. And he wishes that that hesitance would disappear.

It makes him worry, did he do something wrong? Did something happen?

Nevertheless, whatever Yuuri might be going through, he'd always be there.

* * *

Victor is running from the reporters and all he hears is,

 _"Mr. Nikiforov, what do you think of Yuuri Katsuki's performance?"_

 _"Do you feel threate-"_

Usually, he would be open to interviews but all he can think of is Yuuri Katsuki. The man who shattered his world record a few minutes after he achieved it.

 _He finishes his performance and makes his way to the Kiss and Cry. He hears his score and smiles for the camera._

 _Another world record._

 _He'd gotten another world record. But he wasn't happy about it._

 _His performance left much to be desired, he skated with no feeling, no inspiration. And no one seemed to see the difference._

 _Suddenly, he hears gasps and screams. He looks back to the rink and sees another skater._

 _And the first thing that came to his mind is,_

 _"Beautiful."_

 _The skater on the ice was absolutely stunning. He watches as the man goes is for a Toe Loop, according to the comentator._

 _He sees the skater change it abruptly to a combination and lands it perfectly. He hears himself gasp._

 _The skater moves with a refined elegance and so much emotion. Things that he lacked in his performance. He gives his undivided attention to the skater, completely enthralled._

 _He hears the song slowly fade and sees the man gear himself up for his last jump-_

 _"His last jump will be a Tripl-" Victor gasps once again as he looked at the skater's form because that wasn't a triple flip, that was-_

 _"and he replaces it with a Quadruple Loop! A Rittberger! Yuuri Katsuki has just made history as the first man to successfully land a Quadruple Loop!"_

 _A Quadruple Loop._

 _After performing 3 quads and a complicated step sequence, he does a quadruple loop at the end. Landing it perfectly, the only man to do so in the history of figure skating._

 _And Victor is held spellbound by Yuuri Katsuki._

 _He watches him walk to the Kiss and Cry and hears the score of said skater._

 _He knows he should be upset, that people expect him to be upset, after all, he'd been pushed to second place by a newcomer in the GPF. But he isn't. And his curiosity burns._

And that's how he found himself in this situation. The moment he stepped out of his room, he was bombarded with reporters.

He's in the hallway when he sees a door open and he makes a run for it,

and faces Yuuri Katsuki, the man he wanted to meet.

* * *

Yuuri is understandably started when he sees Victor. He'd known he would talk to the man sooner or later but this was unexpected. He blinks and closes off the _grief heartache agon **y longing-**_ and asks,

"Mr. Nikiforov?"

He watches him laugh sheepishly and Victor says, "Oh! I'm sorry, I was running from the reporters and-" Yuuri cuts him off with a "It's alright, Mr. Nikiforov."

He's desperately trying to keep his emotions at bay because this _**was his husband that he left-**_

Victor then tells him, "Call me Victor."

Yuuri jolts and sees Victor do the same, surprised at his openness. Before Victor can say another word, Yuuri then says, "Then you must call me Yuuri, Victor."

He sees Victor break out into a grin and Victor says, "Your performance was absolutely breathtaking! It was so inspiring!" Yuuri gives him a smile and replies with, "Yours as well. You showed the scorned lover's emotions clearly."

He watches surprise flit into Victor's eyes and they both notice that the hallway has gone silent. Yuuri remarks, "Looks like the reporters are gone."

Victor nods and reaches for his pocket and realizes that his key card wasn't with him. He silently berates himself and hears Yuuri give out a chuckle. Victor stares and can't help but think of how attractive he was.

"I'll call your coach and ask for you key card then."

And nice too.

Let it be said that Victor loves to make impulsive decisions,

"We should have dinner together!"

* * *

They're sitting in a restaurant after Victor got his key card from Yakov. Not before hearing a lecture about his recklessness and imposing on a fellow skater.

He feels that it's worth it if he gets to know the enigmatic Yuuri Katsuki. An immediate camaraderie forms between them in just an hour or so.

Victor brandishes his phone to Yuuri and shows him pictures of Makkachin.

"This is my poodle, Makkachin! Isn't he the cutest?" And Yuuri tells him that he has a poodle too and he named him after him. And he feels flattered.

They talk about everything and nothing. Sharing stories of the past few months. He shares their antics back in St. Petersburg, Georgi's dramatics and Yuri's brash attitude. Yuuri in turn tells him about his rink mates back in Detroit.

For the first time in a long while, Victor feels _alive._

They fall into a comfortable silence after an hour of talking and suddenly Yuuri says,

"But, I should really thank you," And Victor opens his mouth to ask him why but Yuuri continues,

"You're the reason I started skating."

And Victor is shocked. He was the reason that this talented skater was sitting here, was competing.

It was unbelievable.

He knows that he'd inspired a number of people, judging from his dedicated fans but this, this felt different.

Yuuri gives him a smile and Victor knew he'd fallen.

* * *

 _"No matter what happens, I will always love you Yuuri!" Victor dramatically exclaims._

 _"Victor," Yuuri then smiles, looking away from his book. "It's just a cold," He says with fond exasperation._

 _"Certainly doesn't feel like it's just a cold when you taste the medicine." Victor mutters and adopts a horrified look when he mentions the medicine._

 _His husband then stops and slyly says, "At least it means I get to miss practice and cuddle with you more."_

 _He blushes faintly, they may have been together for almost two years now but he's not completely immune to Victor's antics. Yuuri closes his book and boops Victor's head lightly with it._

 _"Hmm.. what if I tell you that sick people don't get cuddles?" The moment he says this, Victor looks at him as though he did something horrible._

 _"Nooo... I would die, Yuuri. I would die."_

 _"Who knew you would be a lot more ridiculous when sick."_

 _"Ridiculously in love with you."_

 _"Really, Victor. Really."_


	3. Qui n'avance pas, recule

**_"Qui n'avance pas, recule"_**

 _It is a truth that none can counter. Translated as, "Who does not move forward, recedes". There can be no standstill in life, only evolution or devolution. Either one evolves, or one devolves. To be stagnant is the same as to recede._

* * *

 **Victor:** Last night was fun! Thanks Yuuri 3

And isn't that unusual. While Victor seemed like an open book to most, Yuuri knows that this wasn't something Victor would've done.

A mere message brings to light just how much he's altered the timeline.

Years ago, he stayed alone the day before his FS, he didn't meet or talk to Victor until the banquet- and he doesn't even remember what happened during then.

The banquet. His Victor had said that it had been the best night of his life.

 _"I was swept off my feet by an inebriated man who asked me to coach him,"_ He remembers him say teasingly.

 _"And you went and married him after showing up in his home naked and telling him that he'll be his coach,"_ He had replied in return.

 _"Well, it worked, didn't it?"_

His fingers hover over his screen, poised to send a reply.

 **Yuuri:** It was. We should do it again :)

He types it out and after a moment of consideration, he hits send.

Yuuri hopes that he'll be able to lift the loneliness that hangs on Victor's shoulders.

* * *

Yuuri watches Victor skate to Stammi Vicino, overwhelmed with nostalgia.

 _This._

 _This was what had brought them together._ One of the focal points in their relationship.

His gaze doesn't leave Victor and the the song comes to a close. He ignores the deafening screams and cheers and watches as Victor takes first place, with a total score of 309.4.

Victor meets his eyes as he walks to the Kiss and Cry. Yuuri smiles at him, a silent congratulations and is met with one as well.

And he realizes how much he's changed the past- no, the present, ever since he went back.

If he were still his 22 year old self- not in body but in mentality, he would've never been able to look Victor in the eye, he would've blushed, stammered or averted his gaze away.

It makes him wonder why people had still respected- and dare he say, admired him- even after his original failure in Sochi back then.

Right now, at this very moment, he carries the expectations of his country.

And unlike before, he won't collapse under the pressure.

He stills.

"Yuuri?" He hears his coach say and he hastily grabs his things, stands and walks to the restroom.

He opens the door and is relieved that there's no one else there. He immediately goes to the sink and his hand grasps his head.

Yuuri hisses out a sharp curse.

Well, this was unexpected.

A panic attack, he would understand.

Weeks had long since passed after his return to the past and he admits it, his emotional state isn't doing much better after seeing Victor- not that he blames the man, no, this falls on his own shoulders.

But headaches and coughs weren't something he experienced during this point in time.

Now, he understands that not everything will be the same as the previous timeline. That much is evident what with talking to Victor earlier.

But he knows better than to let himself get ill before a competition.

He had made sure to take enough breaks and not to push his body _too_ far so getting sick wasn't something that should've happened.

* * *

 _The room is silent, sans the sound of pages being flipped._

 _"What do you think will happen when someone time travels?"_

 _Yuuri glances up from his textbook, "What brought this on?"_

 _Phichit shrugs, "Just a thought."_

 _"You mean the consequences of time travel?"_

 _Phichit nods, "I mean, surely there are some consequences for messing with time."_

 _"They could slowly forget the future or.." Yuuri trails off._

 _He shrugs, "I don't know- like you said, they need to be punished for messing with time."_

 _"But what if- what if the reason they traveled back in time.. what if it was for a good cause?"_

 _"Your midterms is in a few days and you want to talk about time travel," Yuuri deadpans._

 _"But- but Yuuri!"_

 _"Your books are confiscated- and maybe I might take away your phone too," Phichit looks at him, horrified and holds his phone to his chest,"You wouldn't,"_

 _Yuuri shrugs, "I would if you fail,"_

 _"Sadist," Phichit mutters, attempting to look upset but the amusement in his tone says something else._

* * *

Victor watches as Yuuri skates his free skate program. His eyes are transfixed on the skater and he gives him his undivided attention.

Yuuri skates with a sort of elegance that most skaters don't have. He makes music with his body. Victor knew that even if the music stopped playing, Yuuri's performance will still be incredible.

He hears the audience scream in delight every time Yuuri nails a jump.

 _"And next comes a Quadruple Salchow- he landed it perfectly!"_

 _"His last jump will be a Triple Lut-"_

His legs suddenly switch from the original take-off for a triple lutz and he watches Yuuri jump.

 _One._

 _Two._

 _Three._

 _Four._

 _Four and a half revolutions._

 _"A Quadruple Axel! Ladies and gentlemen, Yuuri Katsuki has once again made history as the only man to perfectly execute a quadruple axel!"_

And the noise is deafening, from both the audience and skaters. And Yuuri sits down with his coach in the Kiss and Cry. Then silence envelopes the place, everyone waiting in anticipation for his score.

 _"With a total score of 314.9, Yuuri Katsuki takes first place in his first ever GPF!"_

And the stadium explodes. Reporters rush to get an interview or even a single sentence from Yuuri.

He sees his name pushed to second place and perhaps he should feel even just an inkling of disappointment for losing.

After all, he had 'reigned' for five years, usually getting a score that beat the other skaters' score by a huge margin. After five consecutive gold medals, to suddenly be pushed back down from the podium by someone- especially, in his first GPF, was something that he should've been upset about.

Instead, Victor is elated.

As the years passed by, going unchallenged had become so utterly boring. A chore.

He wants to speak to Yuuri once again but considering that he's preoccupied right now, he'll have to wait for the banquet.

He finds himself looking forward to it.

 _"For the first time, I'm thinking past tomorrow."_

* * *

Yuuri's lying on the bed, his right hand clutching his chest.

He was supposed to perform an exhibition skate in the banquet and it pains him that he couldn't go. The banquet was something that was extremely important to his Victor. Even though this Victor wasn't his Victor, his husband, it still stings.

 _Maybe this was the consequence for time traveling,_ Yuuri thinks.

And wasn't that a frightening thought.

To have something- something untouchable, like time, to punish you for going against it.

He could do nothing, nothing but continue living, not being able to fight back. It's scarier to not be able to go against something- forced to continue on, unable to defy what was happening.

And he hates it. He loathes it. This feeling of helplessness, it was disgusting. Unacceptable.

You can't fight fate nor can you fight time.

He tosses to the side and exhaustion takes over.

* * *

Victor frowns when it was announced that Yuuri won't be able to perform his exhibition skate.

He's crestfallen. He'd been looking forward to talking to said man again.

He hears Yuuri's coach- Coach Cialdini, say that Yuuri was in his hotel room.

Victor considers it for a moment and makes up his mind.

He walks to Yakov and excuses himself from the banquet.

 **Victor:** Yuuri?

He's sitting idly, waiting for his reply. A few minutes pass till he gets one.

 **Yuuri:** Victor? Aren't you supposed to be in the banquet?

Victor smiles, _considerate too._ Could anyone be any more perfect?

 **Victor:** You weren't there :(

 **Yuuri:** I'm sorry..

Victor spots a cafe in the corner. He suspects that he had woken up Yuuri, most likely, and enters the cafe.

He doesn't know if Yuuri likes coffee but it didn't feel appropriate to barge in, after waking him up, just to talk.

It was unusual for him. And Victor admits it, he usually would've done so without a thought. But this was different, wasn't it?

He'd only met the man recently and Victor is already so conscious of his actions. What with his lack of experience with normal relationships- platonic or romantic, he doesn't want to accidentally push him away.

He found himself in a continuous and tiring loop, a world that was so predictable and Yuuri's changed that. And he wants to become closer to the man who had beaten him.

And wasn't that surprising?

Although he had 'dethroned' him, Yuuri was still so kind. One would've expected him to get cocky and arrogant. But he wasn't. While Yuuri was confident, he wasn't arrogant. In this time and place, that was rare. Extremely so.

Before this, before all of this, Victor could've never imagined that he would've felt an immediate camaraderie with someone. And he definitely never would've imagined meeting someone like Yuuri.

Because how would he? Yuuri was the kind of person that was unpredictable. He was the breeze that suddenly swooped in his empty and dry world.

He arrives in front of the door and knocks.


	4. Quand on a pas ce que l'on aime,

**_"Quand on a pas ce que l'on aime, il faut aimer ce que l'on a_ "**

 _Its translation is, "When one doesn't have the things that one loves, one must love what one has." In this way, we avoid the burden of wanting things out of reach, and become grateful for the things that are before us now._

* * *

Yuuri nurses a coffee cup while listening to Victor.

A few minutes after Victor's last text, he opened the door to find Victor standing outside, carrying two coffee cups while a sheepish smile adorned his face.

"-and of course, Yakov exploded- well, not literally but-"

"Yuuri?"

He startles and sees a hand waving in front of him.

Yuuri gives a fond smile, "I'm alright. You were saying?" He sees Victor form a small frown with his mouth.

Victor bites his lip and seems to think about something and then asks, "Was your performance dedicated to anyone?"

Surprise blooms in Yuuri's eyes and Victor hurriedly adds, "I'm sorry if it seems intrusive but I was curious-"

He shakes his head and replies, "No, no, it's fine. But yes, it was dedicated to someone."

Victor tilts his head to the side slightly, "Who?"

And this question makes Yuuri wonder, can he still say that it's for his Victor when that future can never be? He loves Victor but his Victor no longer exists, with that timeline rendered dead.

"It was for someone I cared about," He sees Victor nod, "And someone I love." Yuuri clasps both his hands tightly and closes his eyes as he says this, completely missing Victor tense and look of envy.

"You still love them then?"

"I.. don't know."

But Yuuri does. He loves Victor so much, he would give up everything for him but.. his Victor isn't here. But he loves Victor, no matter what time and place he is in. And it feels unfair because he doesn't want to use this Victor as a replacement. In general, they were the same person but.. Yuuri's hands are shaking because, he doesn't know anymore, he didn't ask to go back in time an _d why, why him-_

He suddenly feels two arms envelop him in a hug.

"Victor, what.."

"I'm sorry that I brought that up." Yuuri shakes his head because, it's not his fault, he didn't know. Before he could say anything however, Victor continues,

"I.. I know we've just met but I feel a.. connection between us."

Yuuri blinks. He.. didn't expect this. He knew Victor was a hail-fellow-well-met person but this.. not quite unprecedented but certainly unexpected.

He wonders if Victor was attaching himself to him because he was the first to reach out.

He stays silent for one more second and makes up his mind.

"I do too."

And it stings a bit. It felt like he was replacing his Victor and really, that was illogical but Yuuri can't help it.

Victor stares at him as though he'd given him the world. And Yuuri is painfully reminded that this Victor spend more than two decades alone.

And Yuuri lets go. He lets go of the future he lived in.

Victor was Victor. And he would love him, no matter what age he may be, no matter what time he is from. Because it's the least he can do. And he owes it to Victor.

* * *

They sit in silence and he feels something fall on his shoulder.

He smiles a bit, realizing that Yuuri fell asleep.

Victor moves slightly, in an effort to make Yuuri more comfortable. He doesn't want him to wake up with a stiff neck.

He feels blessed and honored. To have met this amazing, wonderful man. And he knows they've just met but he meant what he said, he does feel a connection. It's been a while since he's had a friend to talk to about nothing and everything. And he's thankful. Yes, they've just met, they've just started to talk but he already cherishes Yuuri.

It was so refreshing, new. A complete change from his monotone life.

And he's infinitely thankful. To be given a chance to become a part of someone's life, someone as extraordinary and incredible as Yuuri.

He'd fallen fast and hard. And really, it was inevitable. Who wouldn't fall for Yuuri?

 _Love doesn't discriminate between the sinners and the saints, it takes and it takes and it takes and we keep loving anyway._


	5. Le temps est un grand maître, dit-on

**_"Le temps est un grand maître, dit-on. Le malheur est qui'il tue ses éléves"_**

 _Directly translates to, "We say that time is a great teacher. It's too bad that it kills all its students."_

* * *

He wakes up to sunrise and feels his husband's arms around him.

Victor smiles and slowly untangles himself from Yuuri's hold.

To wake up every morning to this scene, he would give everything for that.

The day started innocently enough.

Then he sees his husband, his love, his world, fall to the _(unforgiving)_ ice.

And he hears screaming but no one else is there with them _(you should've known and look, look a **t what you've done)**_. It takes a moment to realize that it's him. And he skids and reaches for Yuuri's hand and it's damp- no, wet. The pool of blood _(his husband's blood)_ is quickly spreading, soaking his clothes with it.

Victor's hands shake as he frantically calls for an ambulance because the love of his life wasn't moving and he's _**bleeding so much-**_

His eyes are closed and he's so cold. So still.

Victor doesn't know if it's because of the ice but his Yuuri isn't supposed to be this cold, his Yuuri is warm. During winter, Victor would use the cold as an excuse to cuddle him. His Yuuri was always moving. Vivacious. And he moves with a refined elegance that he seems to have been born with. This couldn't be his Yuuri.

He doesn't know what he would do if he loses Yuuri. He can't live without him. He can't. He's barely even spent two decades with him, they can't take Yuuri away from him. Not yet. Please.

What was the use of living if his Yuuri wasn't with him? What was the use of waking up every day if his husband wasn't there to greet him with a smile when he wakes up?

Victor would do anything, anything as long as this doesn't happen.

This couldn't be happening. _No, no, **no no no no-**_

* * *

 _"If you could've stopped this from happening, would you?"_

 _"I would be a fool not to."_

 _"And if it costs someone the same thing you have lost?"_

* * *

Months pass after the GPF and Yuuri and Victor stay in contact.

Both Victor and Yuuri are rarely seen without their phones in hand.

It greatly amuses Phichit whenever he sees his friend whip out his phone immediately whenever he hears Victor's ringtone.

"Getting cozy with Victor Nikiforov hmm..." He sees a faint flush on Yuuri's face and pouts. Yuuri doesn't get embarrassed as much as he used to be so he continues, "You better tell me the color scheme of the wedding so my outfit matches!"

"Phichit!" And he's laughing as he makes his way to the door.

It makes Celestino happy that his student was interacting with other people. He was quite hesitant at first, surprised on the sudden comradeship Yuuri seems to have established with Nikiforov. Over time however, after seeing his student happier than he ever saw him, Celestino started to warm up over the matter.

In the months leading up to the GPF in Barcelona, Yuuri wins a gold medal in his events and spends his time training and talking to Victor. The different time zones were a pain but they make it work.

 _Yuuri is dragging his suitcase behind him, waiting for Celestino._

 _Victor insisted and accompanied him to the airport._

 _He sees him frown slightly._

 _"We'll stay in contact, yes?"_

 _And Victor looks at him for a moment and promptly hugs him._

 _Yuuri blinks then bring his hands up to return the embrace._

 _He then spots Celestino by the side, clearly waiting for him to come over._

 _And Yuuri waits for Victor to let go because he doesn't want to be the one to end the embrace._

 _They separate and Victor says, "Of course."_

* * *

While Victor may have acknowledged his feelings for Yuuri, he has yet to make a move.

And it was frustrating Chris a lot.

"But Chris, what if he doesn't like me that way?"

"Victor," He lets out a sigh and grabs his friend's shoulder, "I've seen the way he looks at you. And the way you look at him."

Victor frowns and crosses his arms, "And if he rejects me?"

Chris pinches the bridge of his nose, "You've been talking to him for months now. You monopolized his time when you surprised him by supporting him at the Chugoku, Shikoku, and Kyushu Championship. He went to support you in your own event as well." Once he sees Victor nod, Chris asks, "What are you waiting for?"

"You've been pining-" Victor blushes a bit and indignantly says, "No, I haven't!" And Chris ignores him, "-for months, what do you stall for?"

Victor stays silent for a few seconds and then says, "It's.. not just a crush."

It wasn't a mere crush. It was something else.

From the moment he saw Yuuri, he felt a connection- as weird as it sounds. He wasn't one to romanticize things but this was different. It feels real. It feels right. The more he talks to Yuuri, the more he feels a connection. Yuuri was familiar. It was as though he was supposed to know him more- as though he had known him before.

* * *

He feels nauseous. Yuuri sees Celestino give him a questioning glance but he shrugs- desperately trying to be nonchalant. It seemed to have worked as his coach gives him a nod.

He'd finished his SP with a score of 119.6 and Victor with 121.7. They spent the days sightseeing and roaming Barcelona. It reminds him of his first time in Barcelona, where they had done the same.

Victor's score is announced and the audience cheers for his score of 324.3.

Yuuri lets out a small smile that immediately disappears when coughs again.

He would've gone to the doctor but he can't leave yet. He still has to perform his FS. Yuuri shakes off the unease he feels and prepares for his free skate. He catches Victor's eyes and he gives a nod and a smile to him and receives the same.

The music starts and he skates to the side for a bit, showing off more of his step sequence.

He goes in for a Triple Flip and hears the crowd roar. The excitement vibrates and surrounds the place but he doesn't feel it. He feels queasy but he goes on.

Another combination there, a Biellmann spin here, and two more quads.

The commentators sing his praises, commending him for another successful Quadruple Loop.

He ends his program with a one-handed Biellmann spin and Quadruple Axel, a nod to his program in his first GPF.

He walks towards the Kiss and Cry and the more he walks, the more he feels ill. He ignores it once again.

He hears them announce his score, congratulating him again for his win and another world record with a total of 329.8. Yuuri smiles and nods at the people. He answers most of the questions presented to him by reporters. The moment he realizes he can leave, he left posthaste and headed straight to his hotel room.

He's coughing in the bathroom when he hears his phone ring.

 **Victor:** Yuuri, are you alright?

 **Victor:** You seemed to be in a hurry to leave awhile ago..

 **Victor:** I'm going to your room.

His breath hitches and he grips his chest for a moment then makes his way towards the door. He opens it and he's faced with concerned eyes and a panting Victor. He looks like he ran a marathon, what with the way he was breathing and how he looked like.

"Victor, you didn't have to, I'm fine-"

Victor grabs his hand, "You don't look fine Yuuri."

"No, really, I'm alrig-" And he's coughing and hacking.

"Yuuri!"

He brings his hand to his mouth to smother his coughs. He moves it away and sees blood smeared on his hand. He hears Victor call his name but he doesn't have time to react,

and all goes black.

 _"Time doesn't take too kindly to those who interfere."_


	6. À cœur vaillant rien d'impossible

_**"À cœur vaillant rien d'impossible"**_

 _Directly translates to, "For a valiant heart nothing is impossible."_

* * *

If you would've told Victor that it was absurd and unfeasible to fall so quickly for someone, he would've laughed at the incredulity of the sentence.

Yes, he admits that it was nigh impossible to be so taken as he was with Yuuri.

Although, it seemed ineluctable. He'd been saddened to part ways with Yuuri after Sochi. Ever since then, he'd constantly talked to the man. For the past months, he would constantly be on his phone. His rink mates were quick to realize that it was Yuuri that he was talking to.

He skates with a passion that he thought would be lost forever.

The difference in their time zones were definitely frustrating but that doesn't stop them. Victor goes as far as to remember what time it would be in Detroit before he sends a message to Yuuri.

And when he looks back on his life, before Sochi, before he met Yuuri, he is struck with how lonely and alone his existence was. It wasn't obvious, after all, why would he have felt lonely and alone when he was adored by fans in numerous countries. But, they treated him as though he were untouchable. It drove him away further from socialization.

Even during Sochi, he didn't know his competitors' names- sans Chris and later Yuuri of course. Was it arrogant of him? Perhaps- or rather, most likely.

And Victor doesn't know if he can ever repay Yuuri. If he can ever express his gratitude enough.

Throughout the months they spend sending each other messages and calling each other, he discovers more and more about Yuuri and he's in too deep now.

 _Definitely in too deep,_ Victor thinks as he stares at his phone.

He finds out that Yuuri majored in linguistics and physics. A double major.

 _"Ты такой красивый, Yuuri." Victor mutters while patting Makkachin._

 _"Ты тоже, Victor." Yuuri replies immediately._

 _"Wai- Yuuri, you speak Russian?!"_

 _He hears Yuuri give out a short laugh, "I majored in linguistics."_

 _"I thought you majored in physics?"_

 _A sheepish laugh follows and Victor can imagine Yuuri nodding._

 _"Yes, also linguistics."_

 _"What other languages do you know?"_

 _"Japanese, English and Russian- as you already know, French and enough Thai to get by."_

 _"Thai? Because of your friend? Ahm, Pichit?"_

 _"It's Phichit, Victor."_

 _Victor blushes slightly, a bit embarrassed by his blunder. Strange, as he usually wouldn't be embarrassed by something like this. But again, this was different. This was Yuuri._

While most of their conversations was about everything and nothing. There were a few times where they would talk about skating.

 _"What will be your theme this season Yuuri?"_

 _"I'm not quite sure, I've got a few songs in mind though."_

 _Victor nods and then chuckles._

 _"Victor?"_

 _"Ah, I nodded even though we're not talking in front of each other."_

 _"Oh! I do that too."_

 _Their conversation continues and Victor then asks about the piano he saw in one of the pictures Yuuri sent him._

 _"Piano- Ah, I was composing a song with a friend when I visited her."_

 _"Compose? You know how to play the piano?"_

 _"Well, yes. I'm thinking of using it for my program."_

 _That makes me want to see you play the piano, Victor thinks._

 _"I could play for you if the situation allows it."_

 _A faint dusting of pink covers his cheeks, "Ahaha, I said that out loud, didn't I?"_

 _"You did." And he could practically see the grin that probably accompanied that statement._

Soon enough, the seasons change and their meeting draws closer. Naturally, both him and Yuuri qualify. He watches Yuuri's programs through his phone and deeply regrets that he couldn't come see it for himself. He sends another message to Yuuri, full of compliments for another successful win. In turn, Yuuri sent him a message as well.

He's brimming with enthusiasm, excited for the prospect of seeing Yuuri in person again. He'd already asked Yuuri if he was available, seeing as they still have a few days before their programs.

* * *

Victor is laughing with Yuuri as they sit on a bench and watch the sky- _almost like a date,_ he thinks to himself, when he hears Yuuri's laugh cut off by a cough.

"Yuuri, are you alright?"

The coughs come to a stop and Yuuri nods, "I'm fine."

But Victor's concern isn't easily dissipated, "Perhaps we should go back to the hotel." He frowns.

Yet Yuuri is persistent, "No, no, I'm fine."

And Victor wants to decline and go but he takes a look at Yuuri and he couldn't possibly deny the man anything when he looks like that. Instead, Victor sighs and says, "Alright then. But if it gets worse, you should go to the hospital."

"I will, don't worry."

He will come to regret this a few days later.

* * *

Victor stands, frozen when he sees Yuuri collapse.

The world stills for a moment and he immediately brings out his phone, dialing for an ambulance.

His hands are shaking and he sees the blood on Yuuri's hand, his breath hitches.

" _Yuuri._ Yuuri. You'll be fine, it's alri-"

He doesn't know if he's trying to convince Yuuri or himself.

* * *

Yuuri wakes up to his room a few months after Sochi.


	7. L'enfer est pavé de bonnes intentions

**_"L'enfer est pavé de bonnes intentions"_**

 _A direct translation of this proverb would be, "The road to Hell is paved with good intentions."_

* * *

Yuuri tosses to the side and his face meets the wall. He forces his bleary eyes to open and sees his room.

He blinks, _what was he doing here, shouldn't he be at the hospital-_

Yuuri hastily throws the covers away and scrambles for his phone,

 _February._

 _But the Worlds-_

He checks his contacts and finds Victor's name.

He checks his messages. He remembers this conversation.

They were talking about meeting up at Worlds.

 _But it already happened, he was in his hotel room-_

 _-and he collapsed in front of Victor._

What was happening? What was he doing back in tim- no, why did he travel back in time again?

"Yuu..ri?" He turns and sees Phichit rubbing his eyes, "Why are you up already?"

Because I woke up and suddenly found myself back in time when I'm supposed to be in the hospita- "..nerves, just nerves."

"You've still got some time before Worlds, you know," Phichit says and then promptly yawns.

"I.. need to go out and get some air," Yuuri says and stands up to grab his skates.

"Oh- I'll go with you, wait-"

"Are you sure? I mean, I just woke you up-" And Phichit interrupts him, "Nope! As your best friend, it's my job to accompany you. Give me a minute, I need to go wash up."

Yuuri reluctantly nods and sits down.

And his phone rings.

He turns it over and sees a message from an unknown number.

That was strange. Who would be contacting him? All his friends and of course, his family, have his number.

He's about to open the message when Phichit finally gets out, "Alright, I'm ready to leave!"

Yuuri shoves his phone to his pocket and heads out.

* * *

"Yuuri, are you fine?"

Yuuri snaps back to reality and realizes that he was lost in thought, "Ah, yes, I'm fine. I was just thinking."

"About whether to take Victor's last name or.. hmm, personally I think hyphenated sounds better."

Yuuri stammers, staring at his best friend's teasing smile, "P-Phichit! Must you really?"

"Well, I think hyphenated sounds good. Yuuri Katsuki-Nikiforov. Victor Katsuki-Nikiforov. Or vice versa," Phichit says and gives him a shit-eating grin.

"We- we are not getting married-"

Phichit cuts him off, "Yet."

Yuuri gives him a mock pout and the silence resumes.

"Phichit?"

"Yes?"

Yuuri then shakes his head, "Never mind."

It wasn't Phichit's burden to bear. Besides, who would believe him if he said that he had traveled back in time- and twice to boot.

But..

"What do you think happens after you die?"

And Phichit almost spats out his drink, "Well that was a sudden turn."

"But do you think there's an afterlife?"

"Hmm.. I'm.. neutral about it. I mean, I'm not sure," Phichit shrugs.

"You know, with all of your sudden unusual questions, maybe you should write a book."

"No thanks," Yuuri says.

He opens his mouth to ask another question but is cut off by Celestino calling them for practice.

* * *

 _He looked at his hands, stained with blood-_

 _with . . . . .'s bl **ood-**_

Victor wakes up to the deafening sound of his alarm.

As much as he would love to stay in bed the whole day, he already had the day off yesterday- which Yakov had _graciously_ given him, or rather, he had sent a text to Yakov saying that he'll be skipping practice and then ignored him.

He will definitely suffer his wrath later.

Now, not to say that he's taking this easy, he can't, especially since Yuuri was there now. He wasn't so concerned about the gold medal, no, he was more concerned with impressing Yuuri.

He's been pining.

He admits it.

More like, it took frequent phone calls and messages to Chris until Chris had enough and told him that he was pining. _No objections,_ Chris had said.

Victor sighs, Worlds seemed so far away. He wants to see Yuuri already.

Although, he's not quite sure how to go about his situation.

He likes Yuuri, yes.

He wants to pursue a romantic relationship, yes.

Does he have the guts to do it? No.

As much as he would love to ask Yuuri out, it was too early. Not to say that he's not enamoured but Yuuri might say no. And he definitely doesn't want that.

His phone rings,

 _"Hello?"_

 _"VITYA! YOU BETTER BE AT PRACTICE IN 30 MINUTES OR SO HELP ME-"_

 _"Yes, yes, don't worry."_

Victor sighs and sends a message to Yuuri, asking for help as Yakov will probably kill him.

And wouldn't that be the dream. For Yuuri to suddenly be at St. Petersburg. Worlds was taking so long.

Speaking of dreams,

what was his dream about again?

* * *

 _Yuuri's hands are shaking._

 _Victor had come back for this season and he'd moved with him to St. Petersburg. And he feels the pressure._

 _(if I say the wrong thing,_

 _or I wear the wrong outfit,_

 _they'll throw me right o **ver the side-)**_

 _He feels a hand clamp his shoulder and glances back to Victor._

 _His fiance gives him an encouraging smile then squeezes his hand._

 _He takes a stuttering breath, he can't show any weaknesses. His mistakes would reflect Victor and he can't- he can't-_

 _Talk less, smile more._

 _He repeats this mantra over and over again in his head as he answers the reporters' questions._

 _While his anxiety had gotten better, it still strikes sometimes. It was just unfortunate timing that it had to be during a competition._

 _He wants nothing but to run- run far away from the cameras, from the people, from everyone, from the eyes that were judging him._

* * *

 _Comme on fait son lit, on se couche._

 _As you make your bed, so you must lie._

Yuuri frowns, he'd just came back from the rink, after spending the morning practicing with Phichit then Celestino.

He's alone in the room now and he finally opened the message he had gotten.

Victor had taught him French, in the original timeline.

While the message was in French, to the sender, sending it to him would've been useless as no one knows that he knows French.

First, he goes back in time, a few months before Sochi. And then he goes back in time once again but after Sochi and before Worlds. Then he receives a message like this.

Now Yuuri wouldn't take it so seriously but with waking up back in the past then being sent a message that sounds so ominous, who could blame him?

He'd also noticed that the coughs he had been experiencing before had dissipated.

This situation was getting stranger and stranger by the day.

He sighs and flops back to his bed, what did the message mean? Was it connected to him time travelling? Or was he just being paranoid?

Yuuri frowns once again, what was the meaning of the sentence? If one were to explain the saying, it would be-

 _You must put up with the unpleasant results of a foolish action or decision._


	8. Qui ne fait pas quand póte,

_**Author's Note:**_

 _As you can see, I've decided to cut this fic short, I'm sorry but-_

 _/dodges a tomato_

 _Ahaha, my interest in drawing has recently been invigorated and my interest in this particular fic (time travel) has waded.. a bit- it didn't exactly fade but, I just- I didn't want to leave you guys with an unfinished story so I decided to give it a proper (?) ending._

 _Ah well._

 _Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoyed this journey with me~!_

 _-For anyone who's interested, I have a poll in my profile (about what AU I should do next)~_

 _Also, huge thanks to DouxAnge for their help with the quotes and translations~ :)_

* * *

 ** _"Qui ne fait pas quand póte, nu face cand vrea"_**

 _A direct translation of this proverb would be, "He that will not when he may, when he will he may have nay". Which means that you must take advantage of an opportunity when it presents itself, even if you do not want or need it at the time, because it may no longer be available when you do._

* * *

It's been a few days since he came back.

And Yuuri doesn't know what to do anymore.

What use was it to continue to move forward, when he might go back in time again? He'll lose all his progress once again. Back to square one again.

He rolls over to the side, raising his legs closer to his chest. It all just felt so futile. How was he supposed to continue to live when all that he would ever build would collapse?

He just wants to go back. Back to his Victor.

Back to the life, the future that they both made for themselves. Does it even exist anymore?

The future that they both built. The life they made.

Was it all for naught?

All those years, the fights, the triumphs- everything, was it all for nothing?

Yuuri brings up his phone to his face and sees the countless messages from Victor that he hasn't read yet. He bites his lip and throws his phone to the wall.

Why- why him?! What had he done to deserve this? He would've been perfectly content with dying instead of having to do everything again, only to have all that progress torn away from him.

What sort of second chance was this- if he would have to repeat again and again, without truly being able to achieve anything?

He curls into a ball and the sheets wrap become more entangled around him and desperately fights the tears, the feeling of helplessness, away.

He never wanted this.

He never asked for this.

* * *

Victor's eyebrows furrow, concerned over the lack of response from Yuuri. This.. was unusual.

He and Yuuri have been talking constantly for the past few months and there was never a time where he was this silent for more than three days. He isn't superstitious but something in him is screaming to contact Yuuri.

He's been nothing but distracted during practice- although it was the off-season and even Yakov seems to be concerned.

But Victor can't help it.

And he knows, he knows that it was a bit unusual to be so concerned with someone they had met only a few months before.

He sighs- for the third time this evening and types out another message to Yuuri.

Again, no response.

For all that has happened, he's pretty sure that the man doesn't hate him.

He's already called Chris, asking if he's had contact with Yuuri for the past few days. Unsurprisingly, Chris says that it's been silent on Yuuri's end.

Something pushes his lap and he turns to see Makkachin.

"Hey," He says as he rubs his hand on Makkachin's head. The silence continues until Victor buries his head on Makkachin's fur and whispers, "Do.. do you think he hates me?"

And the doubt resurfaces.

Victor sighs once again, perhaps- perhaps Yuuri was just busy- maybe he was reading in to this too deeply.

The uneasiness in his chest doesn't fade however.

* * *

Phichit frowns again.

A few months before Sochi, he was thrilled to see his friend so sure of himself. He was happy for him.

The same could not be said for the situation now.

Oh, he was just as skilled and confident on the ice. But off the ice, he felt distant.

Months ago, Phichit would've described Yuuri's skating as passionate, alive. But now, it felt-

It felt like he was lost.

In grieving? No, not quite right.

Distant.

That was it.

Right now, Yuuri felt distant. On and off the ice. He was more withdrawn than before.

Not shy or meek, just silent and aloof. It was worrying, very much so.

And Phichit can't help but wonder if it was smart to let Yuuri compete in Worlds this season, he thinks to himself as he watches Yuuri in the corner of his eye.

* * *

It's when he finally acknowledges the concerned glances from his coach and Phichit that he becomes painfully aware of how his actions have harmed those around him.

He's done nothing but train and constantly ignore the people in his life for more than a month now.

Worlds was in a few days and it took him months to come to this epiphany.

And Victor.

Victor.

Who he's ignored for months on end.

And Yuuri feels ashamed of himself. Just months before- no, the him he knows never would've done that. He never would've put his problems first and hurt those around him. Unintentional or not.

But, it's never too late to start.

He closes his eyes for a few seconds and stalks over to his friend.

"Phichit," Said man startles for a few seconds and a flicker of shock makes itself known in his eyes.

"I- I," He stammers out before his friend shakes his head and says, "You don't have to say anything."

And for some, it may not have been a big deal but for him, it is.

Because he's been taking these for granted.

He then feels a hand clamp down his shoulder and he glances up to see Celestino.

A show of silent support.

Perhaps, perhaps- there was a chance that he wouldn't repeat this time again.

* * *

Victor is nervously chewing on his lip while sitting in the cafe.

After months of staying silent, Yuuri has finally contacted him. And Victor was so close to abruptly changing his theme for this season to heartbreak and copying Georgi before Chris slapped some sense into him (-and Yakov screaming at him as well)

Thoughts of Yuuri has plagued his mind for months now, it feels foolish when said man has been silent.

Victor's deep in thought so much that he doesn't notice Yuuri walking towards him.

"Victor," And he suddenly sees him. Yuuri sits down and Victor opens his mouth- he has so much to tell, so much to ask- "Before you say anything, please let me talk."

And Victor falls silent.

"I'm sorry- for ignoring you for more than a month now. I-, I wasn't thinking quite right at the time," Yuuri says quietly and then he continues, "I understand if you no longer want to contact me-" And Victor immediately stands up, "No!" It startles Yuuri and shocks both of them.

"I- no, I'd like to continue talking to you, Yuuri," Victor says and he wants to say so much more.

Victor gives him a small smile, "That would be enough," If you could let me inside your heart, let me be a part of the narrative, in the story they will write someday- all going unspoken.

Yuuri stares at him, with wide eyes and Victor nervously thinks that maybe he shouldn't have said that-

"I'd like that too, Victor."

* * *

Just one more day before Worlds and Victor chose to spend most of it with Yuuri.

He'd thought he had lost his chance with him. With the man who put life and color back to his monotone existence.

And Victor is extremely happy that that is not the case.

They're both walking the streets, roaming around when Victor's thoughts wander back to his dreams.

After a few weeks, he'd finally managed to remember them.

He remembered vivid and detailed dreams of someone- Victor doesn't remember who- dying.

It left him disturbed and a bit paranoid.

But Victor also remembers feeling happiness from some dreams. He dreamt of a future full of happiness- what exactly they were or what were the contents of those, he doesn't remember. But he remembers feeling content and happy.

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted however when he hears the sound of car- headed towards his way.

It would hit him, he knows- and Victor can't move, too shocked and the situation happening too quick for him to comprehend what was happening, for him to act. Victor was frozen.

But Yuuri isn't.

He is pushed to the side and his eyes and Yuuri's meet for a millisecond before blood covers his vision.

And it all comes back to him.

Yuuri.

His _husband._

His _husband_ who fell to the ice and his blood covering his hands.

 _ **"Yuuri!"**_

* * *

The platinum haired man sees the hazel eyed man across the street and gasps. He stops for a second and immediately sprints to the man's direction. Desperate to reach him.

He can't let him slip away from his hands again.

 _"Yuuri!"_

He shouts and he sees the hazel eyed man glance at him and starts running towards him.

They collide and almost knock each other over but the slight pain is ignored because-

 _"Vitya,"_ The other man whispers reverently.

They stay in that position for a few moments _(-too short, not enough, n **ot enough-)**_

Silence envelopes them and the blue eyed man then says, _"Let this moment be the first chapter-"_ And his breath hitches at this and he continues, _"-where you decide to stay."_

The black haired man tightens his grip on his hand, _"That would be enough."_

 ** _"L'amour véritable ne vieillit jamais"_**

 _True love never ages._


End file.
